What is the assertiveness in general?
Assertiveness comes from the Latin words assertus or asserere nad means to maintain, confirm, cry out for justice. Assertiveness is a way to respect each other, their own desires, needs and values. It is becoming ready in self defense. Having a courage to show who you really are. Assertiveness means to be authentic.
Why is it worth to be assertive?
The ability to be assertive, both in private and professional life is a requirement of the present time.
It often happens that persons deprived of assertiveness have less self-confidence, which means that they establish relationships harder, and what is more for example to get promoted:

–  Sometimes these persons may feel undervalued, and thus sometimes have the feeling of being unpopular or second-class human beings.
–  Those who are not assertive often suppress what they think and feel, which leads to the fact that they do not express themselves and lie to themselves on some issues.
Good news is that after the implementation of advices from this article you will be able to be more assertive, and gradually change your life for better one
–  Assertiveness allows you to feel more valuable person, which means that you can live by your own rules, so that your confidence can fully flourish.
–  People who are assertive are also able to make better decisions about the most important aspects, which makes them control their lifes on their own better and they more effectively pursue their goals and dreams.
–  Anyone who is assertive takes full responsibility for once life, not afraid to say “no” and “yes” to requests from others, so you live according to your values.
Effective ways to develop assertiveness

Let me tell you now about the experience, which was conducted in the US on last year of psychology. They asked students who of them believes he has a right to exist. Of course, everyone raised their hands up. Then asked for a volunteer. A young man walked into the middle of the room, faced the group, and his task was saying a few times a loud the sentence: “I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXISTENCE” In this time other students had to watch his expressions, body language and the way he says. The same question were asked a few other students. The effect was the same every time, it means that somehow, subconsciously, nobody believed the person who spoke these words. What’s more with each repetition of these words, the speaker also believed in that less. In the end of the exercise, one student told teachers that it was not fair experience because they did not have time to prepare. Then the teacher asked a person who was on the scene in order to say, ‘2 + 2 = 4 “. Then he asked all the audience, whether this time they believed him. All studens replied yes this time.
And how does it look like in your case?

Every day after you wake up use a method ” in the mirror ” . Go to the mirror , look yourself into eyes and repeat several times ” I HAVE THE RIGHT TO EXISTENCE “. Then watch what emotions will come up, and how will behave your body and facial expressions. Did you believe me? Do you really feel that it is as you say? Do this exercise every day till you reach the point where the entire of you will feel that this is true.
3 quick rules to be assertive:

1. Always place a clear and forceful requests or enquiries such as: “Could you pick up my book from the bookstore on the way home please?”
2.  Become a good listener, it will let you know what the other person wants, and whether it is compatible with you.
3.  Always place on a win-win. Try to work out and look for ways to achieve such effects where both people will feel happy. Assertiveness is not about impose something on others, but on maintaining a healthy balance.

What to say to be assertive and not offend anyone?

When you feel that something is not right for you, say:

– I do not feel good about it / I’m uncomfortable with this.
–  Okay, give me the opportunity to reflect on it
–  Thank you very much but no(or – but no thanks)
–   I need to handle this myself, I’ll let you know
–   I have to ask someone for advice, I’ll give you the answer tomorrow
–  I do not support this
–  I do not accept it when you … please stop immediately!
–  No, I do not agree for…
Main rules of being assertive.
Remember that:
– You are on the same level like others, on the same principles, rights that each of us has got
–   you have a right to try, make mistakes, learn and become better
–   you have a right to your own thoughts, express your opinions, your own choices and make the best decision for you
–   You are responsible for how you react to others
–  you have the right to say “no” and “yes” when you find it appropriate
– you do not need permission to do what is in your best interest
–  the world will not end if someone does not agree. “Agreeing” is not necessary but it is only possible.

Excercises for you:
Please complete the following sentences now
Assertiveness means to me………………………………………………………….
If I was 10% more assertive today I would……………………………………..
When I crowd my thoughts, desires and opinions I feel………………………………………
When I ignore my biggest desires I feel………………………………………….
Wen I dissemble something I really want I…………………………………………
If I could say “no” when I want to say it, and could say “yes” when I want to, I………………………………
If someone told me years age that my desires are important, today I would…………………..
If I had the courage to treat my desires as priorites I………….
If I am not afraid to ask for what I want to I will……………
If I let people hear what song my soul plays I………
I I could more express myself for about 10% today I…………….
Wneh I sneak who I really am, what I really feel and think then I………..
If I decide to live more fully my life, I…………

After completion of all sentences you will know yourself a little more, you will also know on which level your assertiveness is today. You will learn what you restrict, suppress and makes you a person you do not want to be. You’ll see what should work on, which part of you is good to strengthen.

Assertiveness is exercise and practice. In order to strengthen something in life you need your commitment and perseverance and resolve that you will become a better person. When you’ll be stronger, the others around you also become stronger. I encourage you to work on yourself, and then you will experience the magic of change in your life.

Please post a comment underneath what else you can do to improve your assertiveness. If you have any questions, please leave them below – we will answer all!

Thank you and I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Remember you have the right to exist!

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